A Vacation Poorly Planned

I am suffering from “new teacher hot flashes”. You thought they were only for menopausal women? Think again.

Last year, when I was a push-in, I relished my vacation. It was a surprise to have all this time off and not be the sole person away from the busy office.

While I’m still not used to having these breaks, instead of relaxing, now all I am doing is suddenly realizing all the things I could have brought home to do but didn’t. My day goes by, and my mind makes a mad dash to “where did I put those math tests?!” or “I should have brought home their published writing pieces!”

Sometimes the thoughts rush in just as I’m waking or falling asleep. I’m unconsciously making lists of things I need to do as soon as I get back Monday morning. It’s torture.

I didn’t plan this break very well. I kind of rushed out of the classroom to meet a friend instead of going through everything more carefully. I just imagined myself doing lesson plans and charts over the break.

I can’t even say I’m re-energizing my battery since I’ve spent the last four days recovering from a sinus infection. *sigh* At least Xmas was great!

It’s funny, the folks at Edwize recently asked what some of our new year resolutions were — I should have added “to better prepare for these holiday breaks!” Either by working harder before so I have less “new teacher hot flashes” or by actually bringing home everything I need!

The One to Blame or Thank?

In the hallway, she muttered about teachers who spend too much time cutting out elaborate bulletin-board decorations or chitchatting at “morning meetings” with their third-graders before the real work begins.

This is the problem with so many articles on education for the general public. Most everyday-readers do not know what morning meetings are, and here their purpose is compared to bulletin boards and chitchatting. Yes, it’s a throw-away quote in a sense, used to introduce the person being written about, but it invites the unknowing reader to think, “Oh, yeah, she must be a no-nonsense woman who has some good, controversial ideas I might like – that call for ‘real work’.”

The “she” in that quote is Michelle Rhee, the Chancellor of Education, and the quote is from a brief piece Time magazine published on her last month, making me aware of her name and existence for the first time. And I must say, the article left me uneasy. Not simply because of Rhee’s beliefs and approaches but more so because of the article itself. Rhee is portrayed as a rebel, and her ideas are constantly pitted against teachers in an oversimplified “heroic” way.

There’s always this morality play that unfolds in articles like this – the veteran teachers who just want to love the kids and let them do arts and crafts because she instinctively knows what’s better, and the ambitious, research-focused and data-driven authority who is trying to save students from a “touchy-feely” education.

In my first read of the article, I drew the conclusion that it is the kind of philosophy she espouses that has landed so many of our public schools in this factory-producing-the-best-products approach to education that is deadening and sickening. A philosophy that demands teachers differentiate but then re-mold the students through undifferentiated standards and standardized tests that insist on and reinforce inequality and setting students up for failure. And then giving raises or pink slips to teachers based on those same test scores.

Back to the quote above.

Where did it go?

I knew teaching was going to be a lot of work – especially compared to my last job – but I didn’t know it was going to almost completely obliterate my social life. I bring so much work home (and apparently this is odd?) that I am lucky to get it all done before going to sleep by 11pm so I can at least get 6 hours of sleep. Aside from other Teaching Fellows, there’s no real way or chance for me to get to know other teachers. Some are definitely cliquey and haughty but not all (and some of those are too old really for me to become close to). And yet socializing just doesn’t happen.

Am i crazy? One other teacher, my saving grace, who is also new and lots of fun does take work home and seems as overwhelmed and ambitious (for our kids) as I am, but we seem to be a rarity. Another new-ish (she’s in her third year) teacher, who is also a Fellow says she does NOTHING she can’t do in the morning at school or on her prep.

Seriously – how and when do you prepare if not after school?