rudderless
I haven’t written in a while and I am expecting to be observed some time in the next two weeks, so I don’t have time now either, but I felt neglectful and had to drop by. Last week was pretty intense — aside from finding out I’m soon to be observed by my principal, who is so difficult to read, I’ve also got this enveloping anxiety over potential lay-offs and a powerlessness I confront when I feel I need to protect my students from their own parents. Not an experience worth having, I must say.
It’s only happened once before this most recent event (finding out about abuse of a student at the hands of a parent) but this time there was a twist.
One of my students was absent for a week – Thursday through Thursday – and when he returned on Friday, he told me simply, “They forgot to wake me up.” I sent him to the guidance counselor who eventually got the full story – mom and step-dad left for their country, leaving my student and his older-but-still-a-minor brother home alone for who-knows how long. They allegedly told their sons they’d return in a week or so, but who knows what to believe at this point? So, of course, the boys never went to school. Why he even showed up on Friday is a mystery to me.
And what at first seemed to just be educational neglect immediately became child endangerment, leaving the counselor and I to call ACS. And yet with no real way to make sure my student is safe or cared for. The uncertainty of his future eats me up. Couple that with the uncertainty of my professional future, and you can imagine the knots my stomach has been in. Ugh. And, like I said, I’m about to be observed. It’s like taking a major exam the day before you’re expelled. And if I am laid off what happens to my status with the Fellowship or my Masters? Can schools lay off ESL teachers, even if their new, given they need a certain number to remain in compliance? The fact that my supervisor didn’t know the answer to this and that her only reply to my wonder was, “They’ll go after money first” simply left me more confused.*
*I guess they could take Randi’s advice and offer retirement incentives. Maybe that’s what she was referring to.
