For the first time since I was a push-in, I left work right after dismissing the kids and sat at a Starbucks to enjoy the book I am reading.

Of course, in the process I forgot a bunch of stuff to bring home and have left myself in an oddly-relaxed-ignorant-bliss-yet harried state.

I used to look forward to lesson planning and making charts, even if it was aggravating and I would put it off. But now I can barely bring myself to start getting ready to plan and prep for next week!

I keep telling myself, “just another 20 minutes of reading,” or I go online “just to check email” – which adds up to seeing what others are writing about, looking up favorite authors or – coming here to post about what I ought to be doing while not doing it.

Procrastination is a vicious cycle. Once you’re in it, it’s next to impossible to get out. Well, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Oooo – I wonder what’s on TV?

I am suffering from “new teacher hot flashes”. You thought they were only for menopausal women? Think again.

Last year, when I was a push-in, I relished my vacation. It was a surprise to have all this time off and not be the sole person away from the busy office.

While I’m still not used to having these breaks, instead of relaxing, now all I am doing is suddenly realizing all the things I could have brought home to do but didn’t. My day goes by, and my mind makes a mad dash to “where did I put those math tests?!” or “I should have brought home their published writing pieces!”

Sometimes the thoughts rush in just as I’m waking or falling asleep. I’m unconsciously making lists of things I need to do as soon as I get back Monday morning. It’s torture.

I didn’t plan this break very well. I kind of rushed out of the classroom to meet a friend instead of going through everything more carefully. I just imagined myself doing lesson plans and charts over the break.

I can’t even say I’m re-energizing my battery since I’ve spent the last four days recovering from a sinus infection. *sigh* At least Xmas was great!

It’s funny, the folks at Edwize recently asked what some of our new year resolutions were — I should have added “to better prepare for these holiday breaks!” Either by working harder before so I have less “new teacher hot flashes” or by actually bringing home everything I need!