What i like to call the biggest* conundrum that will never be solved

The massive “poor working conditions” umbrella can bundle many diverse challenges, ranging from furnaces that malfunction in freezing weather to inadequate textbooks to oversized classes to endless after-school meetings. Few of these can be remedied by individual teachers or even administrators. They require no less than a total restructuring of our educational system, along with a serious infusion of cash. In short, this falls into the not-in-our-lifetime category. -Coleen Armstrong, Teacher Magazine, 11/18/2009

Believe it or not, but reading this made me smile (apparently I have a tendency to smile and laugh when others would cry in pain and pull their hair out, which I probably should). I was actually just having this conversation just the other day – the volcano-like problems that are hidden beneath the banal day-to-day problems we experience and how we’d have to unearth THEM to get anywhere near solving the problems we’re actually aware of and working on all the time.

I was having this conversation with a teacher who is a year newer than me and who was venting about the ways in which school administrators seek out the newest or freshest or most passionate teachers and suck them dry before –or leading them into– burn out. And it’s not because administrators are evil, although they may tend to be more like business managers than teachers with a philosophy of education. It’s these damn volcanoes we’re constantly on top of, “unawares”.

My personal frustrations in my first year of teaching focused on my feeling inadequate and unable to make the difference I wanted to, in part because I was new but also because I was a push-in with roughly 120 students to serve. Last year was great, but I was frustrated by a special education student who had been referred 2 years earlier but never tested, and who was painfully aware and embarrassed by his different abilities, and I felt I didn’t know how to teach him to read. But I never felt so overwhelmed that I considered quitting.

Welcome to November 2009. I started this year thinking I was teaching kids I knew in fourth grade. A few days before school started, I learned I’d be teaching fifth grade. I was told I’d have 20 students, about 12 beginners, the rest intermediate or advanced. I now have 28 students and all eight are new to the country and speak no English.

Sometimes people think I just have to differentiate for the “newcomers”, the “beginners”, “intermediates” and “advanced” in 4 neat packages. No, I have a very wide-ranging class with essentially 28 different levels of English with various strengths, weaknesses and needs. This is far more challenging than what I did before. I shouldn’t have a class this size. It honestly shouldn’t be legal. It should be reduced because of their special needs that go far beyond teaching the content areas. But, no. In fact, I’ve been told I can have up to 32, as if I were a general education class. This number of students is overwhelming to any teacher anyway, but add on top of it any number of extra needs (or, in my case, multiply those special needs by 28), and you know what it’s like.

I have dreams and nightmares about this class constantly. And please don’t tell me that if I reach one child, then I’ve done a great job. Bullshit. That is not my job, and evaluating myself according to the most meager standards makes me feel MORE incompetent to meet their needs, not less.

So, there are the frustrations I feel in trying to figure out how to balance all the things the kids need so that they are all learning SOME portion of what they personally need in addition to the general content standards (or, trying to figure out what they need to even access and understand every content area) – never mind trying to figure out how to communicate with them.

Then there’s the frustration with my administration’s seeming desire to want to just dump all these kids in my class without any thought as to the effect it will have on them or me. They expect me to be able to do all this and I don’t know if I should feel appreciated, used, or unimportant (aka “these kids won’t score high on the tests, so who cares what class they are in”).

But the even bigger problem – the volcano – is that the ENTIRE set up is AGAINST these students. Why should a student who has come from Bangladesh have to take the NY Social Studies test? Even if it’s in their language, or translated to them, who in their arrogant, ignorant mind thinks they’re learning our approach to history in their schools?? Or that they’re fully able to grasp what is being taught to them in English – in any subject – that they ought to take ANY state tests created for native English speakers??

What sense does it make for a student who barely or never went to school in their country be placed in fifth grade simply because of their age?? Because it’d be even more insane to put them in 1st grade???And these kids are going to be promoted to the next grade no matter what because the fact that they don’t know English can’t be used against them.

These students deserve a school that offers the time and environment necessary for learning the content and English simultaneously without forcing them to suddenly conform to the pacing or testing that native students do. Yes, they shouldn’t be placed on hold from learning until they grasp English, but they also shouldn’t be placed on the same pacing and grading system either as students born into English. Dual language is a preferred alternative, but right now, not every child is going to be given a class where they can learn in their first language — there simply isn’t the money, resources, or teachers.

But that is precisely the problem. We are soooo far from offering immigrant kids what they ACTUALLY need. The whole system needs to be upended. I went to a non-graded school for one year, and while it didn’t have the socialized learning that these kids need, the idea that kids are allowed to progress in each area at their own rate while still being held according to certain standards, I think that would be an important detail that schools in my imaginary world would allow.

Armstrong, in the article I quote above, tries to address a particular aspect of teaching that can drive teachers away, so the rest of the article really didn’t speak to me. There are no teachers, veteran or otherwise, doing what I’m doing, at least not at my school. And I can’t say I know if I will ever find my niche because the content of what I’m teaching doesn’t bother me at all, neither does the grade level — it’s the other more demanding needs of the students, and that changes every year, with every grade. I could have just as easily been teaching a third grade like this. What doesn’t change is the inequality and injustice of what they have to confront and me constantly trying – even in my sleep – to find a way for them around that.

So, while I have said to myself that if I get one more student, I will quit, that I am at my breaking point, I know I won’t. And not because of the economy. But because, despite all the frustration and the things I hate about the position I am in, I feel that what I’m doing is really important and I’m hopeful it will get better.

*right up there with every other injustice you can name, of course

inquiry teams

Have any of you ever heard of Inquiry Teams with only one person on them? I was asked to be my own Inquiry Team. Is that as odd as it sounds?

But the teacher said we could talk!

Every teacher struggles I think with the types and levels of talking in class. Kids have a tendency for the gift of gab and how well a teacher curbs this is often used as a lithmus test of her strengths as a classroom manager by those observing.

Enter my class this year. Maybe 5% can understand and make themselves understood in English. So whether I instruct them to work in pairs or not, they are going to use each other to negotiate meaning in class. As long as work is being done, I really don’t mind talking, even off-task talking. I believe it helps to create a comfortable atmosphere, unless it is disturbing other children and it rarely seems to. But I don’t feel comfortable running my class with that because of how my superiors will view it. I think they see the importance of oral language but I don’t think they have ever thought about how to manage it aside from requiring “accountable” talk that employs academic language. I mean, I also would like to plan out how to better harness this need and tendency of my students in a way that will help them grow. I would like to give them as much time as possible to explore and use spoken English.

Any suggestions? :)

online sources for newcomer ELLs?

I use sites like storylineonline.net with its read alouds done by famous people, raz-kids.com with its leveled books and I have Imagine Learning English in my class. But I am trying to find more online resources that offer other similar read alouds or readers theatre, etc. Any recommendations? Preferably free :)

this year so far..

Tomorrow is the fifth grade NY social studies test. I will have hopefully three translators in the room, plus myself. There will be a Chinese, Bengali, and hopefully an Indonesian translator. I will be providing the Spanish. I say hopefully because I don’t know if my school has been able to track down an indonesian translator. Practically nothing exists in Indonesian here.

Of course none of this really matters since I really doubt they teach much American history in those countries, but at least they may be better equipped to make guesses and may be able to do the essay question. That is a big maybe since that assumes they were able to learn something from all the English instruction they’ve been getting.

Not sure if I mentioned this earlier but I am teaching a free-standing fifth grade this year and it is the mecca for all beginners and newcomers it seems since out of a total of 28 kids, roughly 19 are beginners and 10 of them are new to the country as of September. The rest are new as of last winter, and small minority have been here two years.
My attitude about this year’s position moves back and forth between sugar and shit quite easily. Some days I am proud at what we’re able to do as a class and I recognize what I am able to provide them and then other days I feel overwhelmed, like my supervisors expect me to do wonders.

Part of the “problem” is that I had a huge success last year, with a class of kids who came in reading level E and left reading level Q. That is like 2 years worth of progress or something. But this year I have more true beginners, so the challenges are very different.

One thing that makes me feel good is that even though I am a new teacher I feel like I have been given a most important class. These are kids who would easily languish in a regular classroom. But sometimes it feels like I was given these kids because no one else knows what to do with them.

For example: there is this other fifth grade teacher who has a student who went back to his country for most of last year and he basically didn’t go to school the whole year. He reads a low level, maybe a J, and he his behavior reflects not having gone to school. So she has told her supervisor she doesn’t know what to do with him. I fear I will be given this kid, but then I had the chance to look at an example of his writing and he is far more advanced linguistically from any of my students! He easily uses past and past perfect tenses, as well as idioms and expresses ambiguity with comments like “she seemed angry with me…” This same teacher teaches my kids math after school, and she asked me, after her first afternoon with them, if they speak English. What?? Out of the 7 she has, only 2 don’t understand English. The rest.are beginners, and one advanced and they never have a hard time in my class. I have clearly come to take for granted the way I and others know how to ask questions in different ways – I guess? I mean, what else could be the reason. In her comments, she insinuated my kids are dumb and can’t even understand their first language.

Why is is that the same things I find thrilling and intriguiging about this job are also the things that drain me?

What are you teaching this year? What are the obstacles that have been weighing on you?

My first observation and meeting with my principal…

Ok, so just recently I was observed by my immediate supervisor (Ms. R) in Writers Workshop. Ms. R is the woman I referred to previously. She came in my class as we were working on Realistic Fiction, where the kids are writing fiction stories with characters they created. We were nearing the end of the genre, so the teaching point for this lesson was about how to add dialog… whether as speech bubbles or dialog in the story itself, depending on where they’re at and capable of doing. Luckily, an ESL teacher who pushes into my class twice a week was there, so after I did a brief mini-lesson on adding speech bubbles, I asked her to take my newcomer-beginners who would get very little from the rest of the lesson. I then dug into “part two” of my mini-lesson where I taught how to add dialog into their stories. So, I do two active engagements (for those of you who use the workshop model). Then they went off. I did two strategy lessons, one for some advanced kids on words that are “better than said” and one on fixing his lead. I also conferenced with kids around the room.

Well, apparently she was floored because she came up to me and said, “they can write! they write a lot!” and then told the whole class, as she was leaving, how speechless she was at the good work they were doing.

She was floored? *I* was floored at her reaction. She even emailed me to say that I am a wonderful teacher and my kids are lucky to have me. Seriously? I think her expectations were that I was watering everything down. And when I met later with my principal she also told me that what I am doing is great (apparently Ms. R had met with her earlier that day), because people come to think of self-contained ESL classes as “dumbed down”. So, I guess despite all my concerns and fears and feelings of unending inadequacy, I am doing well. Not that that means I’m sitting pretty. Just because they feel like I am doing a great job, it’s still not quite meeting my expectations. But at least I feel I am growing in the right direction!

New year… trying out a new theme

Comments?

Time off?

So, this is my first summer experiencing a true summer vacation – ie., not teaching summer school – although I am taking a class required for my MA. I am enjoying it, but whoever thinks that teachers are, like, totally “off” for the summer are wrong. My brain thinks all the time about what my class will be like next year, what it will be like now that I know I’ll be teaching fourth grade, and what kind of teacher do I want to be. It’s like I’m constantly on watch.

My professor in my current class (on bilingualism which, frankly, is depressing – more on that later) suggested we sign up for NYCORE (NYC’s radical educator’s group), which I did. I have no interest in being an on-the-streets activist again, and had avoided NYCORE b/c of folks who I’d rather avoid and I imagine are members, but I do want to keep abreast of what progressive teachers are up to… you just never know… There’s sort of this expectation in certain circles that the best teachers are the progressive ones and the progressive ones are the most forward-thinking an innovative (and always seem to be in high school….).. Anyway, it makes me long for teaching in a school where students are all being trained in bilingual/biliterate/multicultural classrooms. Do such public schools even exist?

We’re Here Already?

I can’t believe it – the last week of school. I honestly did not think this year would go as fast as it did. I have been assigned to teach fourth grade next year, which means I am looping with two of my students, and the rest are beginner ELLs from three other classes, including two holdovers. About half of my students, many of whom began the year as beginner ELLs themselves, are now reading at grade level and (all but the aforementioned two) will move on to general ed classes. Of course, Teachers College’s assessment of them is LACKING. Even though only 12 out of 22 are reading at grade level, 21 of them met and then greatly exceeded their AYP (a year’s progress) goal in reading that had been set out for them but TC has no way to credit them or recognize them for this feat.

One of the things I looked forward to in becoming a classroom teacher (instead of a push-in) was the prospect of getting to know my students and really witness the progress they’d make, the struggles they’d meet, etc., but in looking back it’s really hard to see how we accomplished what we did and, especially, what I did “right”…. so it leaves me feeling amazed and what we achieved but unsure I could ever replicate :)

I do feel good, though, that I can know have more far-sightedness when coming in in September; a better sense of how things progress and how to plan out each month, supplement the crappy lesson plans and teaching points we get, etc. And hopefully that will translate into more confidence in myself.

I had two great compliments lately. One, my supervisor had told me that if I had said to her back in September where my students would be (in terms of their reading level and vocabulary), she would have told me I was crazy. Two, today a cluster teacher who works with my students and comes to my class for 37.5 told me, “you really have a lot of patience. You really have a lot more than you may realize.” This made me feel good because I hate when other teachers just write me off as “laid back” when I don’t see my style that way. I am strict, but there are certain behaviors I allow because I understand where they come from (like kids who can’t sit still or raise their hands before they have an answer ready b/c they suffer from language delay, etc)… My husband would certainly tell you it’s not because I am inherently a patient person! By far!

I really feel like a totally different teacher and I hope I keep learning and feeling optimistic about what I’m doing!

Please feel free to share your own reflections…

school closed

As a precaution, our school is closed until Tuesday because an unusually high number of students went home with fevers, sore throats and other flu symptoms.

middle of may

Sometimes I wish I knew what to say to my one student whose desires to move up to a J reading level (when P is where they really ought to be) are so great but his ability is just not there. I feel like I fail him every day. He has a learning disability which seems to inhibit his ability to recall letter sounds and I just don’t know what methods I ought to be applying that I haven’t already. He also works 5 times a week with a SETTs teacher. He has moved from an F in September but he knows he is far behind and he is so worried. As am I.

10 Weeks Left

It’s so hard to believe this school year is almost over. The weather was a first sign that we were entering our final stretch. I’m not sure what to think at the moment. I am happy that I have accomplished a lot with my students but I’m already reflecting on how much more I could have done. I understand how veterans teachers feel – more so now – about how much has been lost as a result of the mountains of paper work and other clerical requirements that weren’t in place before. It really hampers your spirits to a point where you wonder how anyone does anything outside of the confines.

Looking back, I approached each new unit in math or readers, writers, or science kind of blindly, without a bigger picture to fit it all into. I am really hoping that I will be given third grade next year so that I can use what foresight I’ve developed to plan out my days better.

A teacher at my school recently got National Board certification. Have you done that or considered doing it? I am wondering about it and if I could do it in tandem with getting a PhD. My guess is no but it would be nice.

I have gotten over my disappointment with not having a class to take toward my MA this June, but I decided to use the time to do some “independent study” in linguistics. Also I think I have to take the GREs to get into a PhD program next fall, so I may as well study for that too.

I am, however, still annoyed I have to take a class in July. I was really hoping to go to Colombia for two months and really advance my Spanish. Ah well.

How is your final stretch toward June looking?

Your language, your way of being… Imagine it gone.

Here’s a video I’d like to share about some of the things I’ve been thinking about over the break..

And if he doesn’t move you, read this (from two years ago).

brown skin + Foreign Birth automatically means ELL?!

I got a new student yesterday. He had been living in Mississippi for two years and before that had grown up in Saipan, an island north of Guam, where he was born. He was placed in my self-contained ESL class because, as I was told, “he hasn’t been tested yet.” This meant he had not yet been given an English proficiency test called the LAB-R. This test is only given – excuse me is *supposed to only be given* to students who speak a different language at home. There is a sheet the parents fill out to figure this out. And my new student only speaks English at home, as listed on this paper! They teach school in English in Saipan and are a US Commonwealth.

And yet he was placed in my class. There was no reason to think he would even need to be tested unless all you do is notice the mother’s accent, his foreign birth, and brown skin. And it took two days and four teachers to get the administration and office to recognize this error. It hasn’t been fixed yet of course. Granted today is the second day he has been here but he is already feeling like my class is home. It’s unfair this was done to him.

Aside from moving around a lot, I learn today that the reason they left Saipan is because the father “broke bones” on the mom’s body, which I assume means he beat her repeatedly. (his mom’s first language is Nepalese but she is also literate in Hindi and English. This may indicate she is from a fairly upper class family in Kathmandu since so many Nepali women are not literate or educated from what I know). So this boy has clearly been through enough.

To upset me even more, on my train ride home, a teacher friend who has the second grade bilingual class discussed some experiences with teachers at our school who are just so against trying to understand our ELLs – understand their language issues or even think they may have strengths, etc. Call it lazyness, call it racism, or wilfull ignorance. Whatever you call it, there really is no excuse for it because almost all our students are ELLs. So I am worried that this new student of mine, who speaks a different variety of English from what teachers expect from “native” speakers here, will be treated as a “dumb” “ELL”, both of which are wrong labels for him.

Argh!

A handy site if you write in other languages..

http://spanish.typeit.org/