milk, shingles, and nightmares
I have been having nightmares every night for at least a month now, maybe longer. I wake up with a tired, sore jaw from hours of clenching and a headache from god-knows what kind of mental flips and turns my brain races through. I rarely remember the content, which is actually an oddity for me. All I can recall, and feel, from the bottom of my spine to the base of my skull, is the stress and anxiety.
But I don’t know why this happens!
I am cracking my neck as I write.
I don’t hate my job or feel over-pressured by my supervisor. I do feel overwhelmed when I think about it…. Hmm. Maybe that’s it. I don’t let myself think about being outstripped. I just do and deal and move forward, head and shoulders braved against the weight. I guess my subconscious has been working through all that for me.
I do tend to be more like a trauma doctor in an ER, trying to stop sudden bleeds and breaks without a long-term approach or plan… “Oh more paperwork? And now I need to access the Acuity website and plan and differentiate from that information? Ok. Oh, I have to teach my kids all about Historical Non Fiction, Poetry, Biography, Main Idea and details, etc, in a matter of weeks so they are ready for the ELA? Even though most did not know the meaning of ‘main’? Okaaaay.”
Moving forward always just doing.
I need to consciously force my shoulders down away from my ears. I’m so used to the tension, relaxation feels awkward.
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One nightmare I actually can recall –at least a tiny piece– is that there is an outbreak of chicken pox and shingles in my classroom. One of my students actually is out now with shingles, so at least that nightmare makes sense.
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This same child, last week, was complaining of a horrible smell around her desk. Some strange yellow-y, goo was under her desk. We cleaned that but the smell was even worse the following day. The girl was absent, so the boy sitting next to her began complaining this time. He was insisting it was coming from her desk. So, we decided to take everything out of it.
Inside, packed way in the back, was a bloated milk carton on the verge of explosion. Which means the goo couldn’t have been coming from it!
So while the goo, milk, and smell are gone, a mystery endures.
